Inquiry · Feeling Behind

Feeling behind

A self-reflection for birthing what is already within us.

Three steps · About 2–3 minutes · Free, no account needed

01The feeling
02Who we hoped to be
03A first step

Describe the feeling of not yet being who you hoped you'd be by now. When does it come up? What are you doing when it's most alive?

Start with when it comes up, or tap the mic

The feeling

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You leave with

What the waiting looks like

The shapes it takes in your days.

Who you hoped to be

Made concrete, in your own life.

One small first step

Something you choose, and what would make it easier.

For the gap between who we are and who we hoped we'd be by now. The spouse, the parent, the professional we thought we'd be.

Halfway through

In short

Feeling Behind is a free, 3-minute guided inquiry for the gap between who you are and who you hoped you'd be by now. You describe when the feeling comes up. It makes the hoped-for self concrete in your own life and ends with one small first step you choose. It draws on research on ideal-self regret.

Draws on self-discrepancy theory (Higgins, 1987), possible selves (Markus & Nurius, 1986), and work on ideal-self regrets (Davidai & Gilovich, 2018). Read the field guide · How it works