Situation · Yourself
“I'm jealous of my best friend”
What could be going on
Envy: Pain at a friend's advantage that you want for yourself is envy; check what exactly you want.
Social comparison: Fits if you measure yourself against her; check whether it spikes after social media or catch-ups.
Jealousy: If the fear is losing her to someone new, it is more likely jealousy than envy.
Contingent self-worth: Fits if your worth depends on being ahead in that area; check which domain stings.
Mimetic desire (Girard): You may want what she wants because she wants it; check whether you wanted it before.
Envy disguised as critique: Check whether the envy leaks out as nitpicking her choices.
Questions to carry
- What had my friend just shared or shown the last time the jealousy came?
- Which part of my friend's life do I want, and what does it point to in mine?
Also said as
- I envy my friend and I hate that I do
- she's jealous of her friend's success
- why do I feel bitter when my friend gets good news
- I secretly resent my friend's life
- I envy my closest friend
- jealous of my bestie's success