Life stages

Common situations, written the way people describe them. Often you can’t see a pattern until you read it in words. When one sounds familiar, open it to see what could be going on. See them all on one map

Situations from the turning points of a life, written the way people describe them: feeling lost after graduating, behind at 27, panicking at 30, silent dinners once the kids have gone, retirement, the fear of getting old. Each page sets out the patterns that could explain it, what tells them apart and how strong the research is, and says plainly where a doctor is the better next step.

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I graduated and I feel completely lostCould be: Identity moratorium · Identity diffusion · Identity foreclosureI'm 27 and I feel so behind in lifeCould be: Social comparison · Should statements · Mimetic desire (Girard)I'm turning 30 and I'm panickingCould be: Self-discrepancy (ideal and ought selves) · Catastrophizing · All-or-nothing thinkingI'm 50 and I keep thinking about the life I didn't liveCould be: Midlife transition · Hindsight bias · Rumination and worryThe kids moved out and we have nothing to say to each otherCould be: Empty nest syndrome · Bids for connection · Pursuer-distancer (demand-withdraw)I retired and I feel uselessCould be: Latent deprivation · Persona · Contingent self-worthI'm terrified of getting oldCould be: Terror management theory · Health anxiety · Dependence/incompetence schemaEvery birthday makes me depressedCould be: Anniversary reactions · Self-discrepancy (ideal and ought selves) · Rejection sensitivityI'm caring for my kids and my parents at onceCould be: Role strain and role overload (Goode) · Burnout · Time povertyI'm getting divorced and I feel like a failureCould be: Shame · Failure schema · Self-concept clarity