“I transitioned and now I'm not sure it was right for me”
Some people who have transitioned, socially or medically, later find themselves unsure, and the doubt may be faint, sudden or painful. It may come from changed feelings about gender, from pressure at home or work, or from hopes transition didn't meet. In a 2021 analysis of the 2015 US Transgender Survey, 13.1 percent of those who had transitioned said they had detransitioned at some point, and 82.5 percent of them named at least one outside factor, such as pressure from a parent or stigma. The Cass Review in England found in 2024 that how many people detransition after medical treatment is unknown, because follow-up was lacking. What matters most is where the doubt comes from, and whether there is anyone the person can talk to who has no stake in the answer.
What to check first
It helps to look at when the doubt rises: after a family visit, a hostile week, a change in medication, or on its own. Low mood can make any past decision look wrong, and it deserves attention by itself. Stopping hormones has physical effects of its own, so a doctor is worth involving in any change.
What could be going on
Detransition and regret: Fits if you're weighing stopping or reversing steps, for reasons inside or outside yourself.
Gender minority stress and resilience (Testa): Check whether the doubt rises with pressure from family, work or the world, more than from how you feel in yourself.
Gender dysphoria (DSM-5-TR) and gender incongruence (ICD-11): Check whether the distress has changed shape since transition, eased in some places and moved to others.
Major depression: Could be low mood coloring everything, so that every choice you've made looks wrong.
Telling them apart
Detransition and regret: The person may be thinking of stopping or reversing steps, socially, medically or both. In research, people give many reasons, from changed feelings about gender to health worries to pressure from others. Studies so far are small or short, and much is still unknown.
Gender minority stress and resilience (Testa): The doubt may rise with outside weight: a family that won't use the name, losing work, threats or new laws. In the 2015 survey analysis, the reasons people gave most often for detransitioning were pressure from a parent and stigma in society. The person's sense of themselves may feel steadier in safe company.
Gender dysphoria (DSM-5-TR) and gender incongruence (ICD-11): The distress may have changed shape: eased in some areas, unchanged or new in others. Some people find transition relieved some things and left others. The person may be unsure whether what remains is about gender at all.
Major depression: Low mood may color everything, so that past choices look like mistakes and the future looks closed. Sleep, appetite and interest may have dropped too, for two weeks or more. Choices may look different once the mood lifts, in whichever direction.
Questions to carry
- When did the doubt last come, and who or what was I thinking about right then?
- What did transition give me, what did it cost, and what do I still not know?
Also said as
- regret transitioning
- thinking about detransitioning
- i'm not sure i'm trans anymore
- stopped hormones and don't know what i am
- detransitioner support
- my gender feelings have changed since transition