Situation · Partners and dating
“My ex moved on straight away and looks so happy”
What could be going on
Social comparison: Comparing your inside to their outside; check whether you're measuring yourself against posts.
Impression management: Happiness online may be partly performed; check whether it seems aimed at you.
Grief (complicated, disenfranchised, anticipatory): Your hurt may be fresh grief, sharpened by seeing them move on.
Envy: Fits if you feel they got something you deserved.
Idealisation: Check whether you're idealising them or their new relationship.
Can't be alone: Fits if they jump straight into new relationships to avoid being alone.
Questions to carry
- Where am I seeing the happiness, in what my ex shows online or in what I hear from others?
- When I look at those pictures, what am I hoping to feel, and what do I feel?
Also said as
- she's already with someone new and posting about it
- why did he move on so fast
- my ex seems happier without me
- seeing my ex with someone else hurts
- my ex is already dating someone new
- she replaced me so quickly