Situation · Work

“My colleague makes digs disguised as jokes”

What could be going on

Sarcastic: Fits exactly; check whether the jokes are mostly at others' expense.

Passive aggression: Fits if the jokes carry anger they won't say directly.

Envy: Fits if the digs target things you're good at.

Contempt: Fits if the jokes come with eye-rolls or a sneer.

Humour as deflection: Fits if humour is how they avoid serious feelings in general.

Everyday sadism: Fits if they seem to enjoy making people uncomfortable.

Questions to carry

  1. After the last dig, who was listening, and what had I just done or said?
  2. In the moment after a dig, what do I want to say and swallow instead?

Also said as

  • she makes sarcastic comments about me in meetings
  • he says it's just banter but it hurts
  • my coworker is always sarcastic
  • passive-aggressive jokes at work
  • coworker makes snide comments
  • my colleague insults me and says he's only joking

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