Humour as deflection
You ask a serious question about the failing project. They make a joke, everyone laughs, and the question disappears.
Rule out first
Group culture where humour eases hard conversations. Real wit that comes back to the point. Nervousness in a new setting.
What could explain it
Humour (as a mature defence): Mature: the joke helps everyone hold the hard thing, and they return to the issue afterwards.
Family roles (golden child, scapegoat, lost child, mascot): They were the mascot at home; making people laugh is their job, and silence feels dangerous.
Manic defence: Constant, high-energy humour that wards off loss or sadness; when it stops they look bleak.
Experiential avoidance: The joke always comes just before the painful feeling, and they leave the room if it can't be dodged.
Enneagram Type 7: Enthusiast: Keeps things light and future-focused; pain and limits are boring or frightening to them.
A next move
After the joke, ask the question again, gently, in private. Returning to it means mature humour; another joke means avoidance; sudden sadness means the humour was holding something back.
If it’s you
What feeling arrives just before I make the joke?