Situation · Yourself
“I'm fine at work but snap at my family”
What could be going on
Displacement: Feelings from work landing on safer targets at home fits; check what happened that day.
Emotional labour: Managing emotions all day can leave nothing for home; check how demanding the job is.
Expressive suppression: Holding feelings in all day can make them spill later; check what you hide at work.
Ego depletion: Self-control is spent by evening; check whether weekends are easier.
Anger as a secondary emotion: The snapping may cover tiredness or hurt; check what's underneath.
Stress response and allostatic load: Accumulated stress shortens the fuse at home; check sleep and workload.
Questions to carry
- What had I held in at work on the day I last snapped at home?
- Who at home takes the brunt, and what do I wish I could show them?
Also said as
- I'm patient with clients and awful at home
- he's nice to everyone except me
- I take it out on my kids
- I hold it together all day then lose it at home
- I'm calm with colleagues and angry with my kids
- why do I take my stress out on my family