Expressive suppression
Inhibiting the outward display of an emotion that is already under way, without changing the feeling itself.
What drives it
Keeps a person looking composed and protects relationships or status in the moment; the cost is extra physiological load, reduced memory for the event, and others sensing distance.
How it shows
Work
Stony face and still body in a tense meeting, clipped sentences, a fixed smile that does not reach the eyes. Later cannot recall details of what was discussed. Colleagues describe them as 'hard to read' or 'cold'.
Relationships
Partners report feeling shut out; the person says 'I'm fine' while their jaw is clenched. Rapport and closeness fall even when the conflict is avoided.
Self
Effort and tension in holding your face; feeling the emotion just as much but having to manage it; a sense of being slightly absent from the conversation.
What tells it apart
Suppression: Suppression as a mature defence is a conscious choice to postpone attention to a worry and return to it later; expressive suppression hides the face while the feeling runs, and is often not returned to.
Isolation of affect: The suppressor feels the emotion and hides it, so strain shows in the body; isolation of affect removes the feeling from awareness, so the person talks about a painful event in a flat, relaxed way.
Emotional numbing: Suppression blocks the display; numbing blocks the feeling itself, so there is nothing to hide and no strain.
A test
Ask the person what they felt at the moment they looked calm; a suppressor will name a clear emotion they chose not to show.
Questions to carry
- At the moment they looked calm, what were they feeling and choosing not to show?
- Which feeling did I keep off my face this week, and what did it cost me afterwards?
How strong the research is
moderate. Costs of habitual suppression (lower wellbeing, worse memory, others feeling less close) are well replicated in Western samples, but are smaller in cultures that value restraint.
Where it comes from
James Gross, 1998; Gross and Oliver John, 2003; Emily Butler and colleagues, 2003 and 2007
Sources
- Arlie Russell Hochschild, The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling (1983)
- James J. Gross, The Emerging Field of Emotion Regulation: An Integrative Review (1998)
- Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress (2003)