“He's charming in public and cruel at home”

What could be going on

Polished image, nothing underneath: Check whether his public image is carefully managed and cracks only in private.

Impression management: He may work hard to appear good to others; check whether behaviour shifts when people are watching.

Coercive control: Fits if the private cruelty comes with fear, isolation and control.

False self (Winnicott): The public self may be a mask covering something else; check whether he seems empty or hollow.

Persona: Everyone has a public face; the question is whether the private one is harmful.

Displacement: Could be stress from holding it together all day that he lets out at home.

Also said as

• everyone thinks my husband is amazing but they don't see how he treats me
• she's lovely to everyone else and nasty to me
• nobody believes me because he's so nice in front of others
• my partner is a different person behind closed doors
• my husband is nice in public and mean at home
• she's sweet around friends and awful in private