Situation · Partners and dating
“He explodes over tiny things”
What could be going on
Sudden rage over something small: Check whether rage is out of all proportion to the trigger.
Narcissistic rage: Fits if anger follows feeling slighted, criticised or not getting his way.
Displacement: Anger at work or life may land on you; check whether outbursts follow bad days.
Anger as a secondary emotion: Anger may cover hurt, fear or shame; check what came just before.
Emotional flooding: He may be overwhelmed and unable to regulate; check whether he's remorseful afterwards.
Stress response and allostatic load: Chronic stress lowers the threshold for anger; check whether it's recent or worsening.
Questions to carry
- The last time he exploded, what was the small thing, and what else was going on for him that day?
- When he starts to explode, what does my body do, and how safe do I feel in that room?
Also said as
- my boyfriend loses his temper over nothing
- she screams at me if I forget one thing
- why does my husband rage over small stuff
- partner has huge anger outbursts
- my husband gets furious over little things
- she flies off the handle over nothing