Avoids anything that reminds them of the loss
They drive the long way round so they never pass the hospital, and every photo of him is in a box in the loft. When a song he loved comes on, they leave the room.
Rule out first
An early stage, when this much avoidance in the first weeks is common. Someone else in the house who asked for the photos to go. A faith or culture where the dead person's name and image are put away for a time.
What could explain it
Dual process model of coping with bereavement (Stroebe and Schut): The avoidance comes and goes. Some days they look at photos and cry, other days they get on with life, and they move between the two.
Prolonged grief disorder (ICD-11, DSM-5-TR): A year or more on, the avoidance is wide and fixed. It sits beside intense longing, a sense that part of them died too, and trouble getting on with life.
Traumatic grief after a sudden or violent death: The death was sudden, violent or witnessed. Reminders bring back how it happened more than who the person was.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): There are nightmares, startling and flashbacks of the event, even on days when the person isn't on their mind.
Experiential avoidance: The same pull away from hard feelings shows elsewhere: the doctor, the hard talk, the bill. The loss is one more thing they keep at arm's length.
Grief bursts and STUG reactions (Rando): Reminders set off sudden waves that knock them flat in public. What they avoid is the wave, and in private they still talk about him.
A next move
Notice what a reminder brings. Longing for the person, a year or more on, points to prolonged grief. Images of how they died point to traumatic grief, or to PTSD if the fear spreads past reminders. Days of avoiding and days of looking point to the dual process model. Avoidance of everything hard points to wider avoidance. Fear of crying in public points to grief bursts.
If it’s you
Which reminder do I steer round, and what am I afraid it would bring up in me?