Situation · Partners and dating

“My wife nags me constantly”

What could be going on

Pursuer-distancer (demand-withdraw): Fits if her nagging and your tuning out feed each other; check what happens when you engage.

Over-functioning and under-functioning: Check whether she carries more of the load and nagging is the result.

Bids for connection: Nagging may be failed bids for attention; check whether she feels ignored.

Resentment: Check whether long-standing grievances sit under the daily complaints.

Four horsemen (Gottman): Fits if requests have turned into attacks on your character rather than your actions.

Unrelenting standards/hypercriticalness schema: Fits if she's equally hard on herself and nothing ever meets the bar.

How many times had she asked before the last time she asked again, and what had I said?
When I hear her start, what happens in me, and what do I do next?