Situation · Family and friends
“My husband always sides with his mother”
What could be going on
Differentiation of self (Bowen): Fits if he can't stay connected to his mother while disagreeing with her.
Triangulation: Check whether he's caught as go-between, absorbing pressure from both sides.
Enmeshment: Could be family loyalty that treats disagreement as betrayal.
Enneagram Type 9: Peacemaker: A benign reading: he may avoid all conflict; check if he avoids siding with anyone.
Pleases everyone, never says no: Fits if he placates whoever is in front of him.
Questions to carry
- In the last disagreement, at which point did my husband take her side, and what did he say?
- What do I most want him to understand when he sides with her?
Also said as
- my wife never backs me up with her parents
- partner won't stand up to his family
- he takes his mum's side every time
- why won't my spouse defend me against his parents
- husband takes his mother's side
- my partner never defends me to his family