Situation · Work
“My boss gets weird when I do well”
What could be going on
Envy: Fits if their coldness follows your wins, especially in areas they care about.
Envy disguised as critique: Fits if your successes get met with criticism or nitpicking.
Narcissistic injury: Fits if your success makes them feel ordinary or exposed.
Social comparison: Fits if they compare themselves to you, especially in front of others.
Vulnerable (covert) narcissism: Fits if they seem secretly fragile and resentful rather than openly grand.
Status motive: Check whether your rise threatens their rank or job.
Questions to carry
- What did my boss say or do in the day or two after I last did well?
- Before I share a win now, how do I shrink it, and for whose sake?
Also said as
- my manager seems threatened by me
- she undermines me whenever I get praise
- he's happy when I struggle and cold when I succeed
- is my boss jealous of me
- my manager seems threatened by my success
- my supervisor gets cold when I succeed