“I feel like his mother, not his girlfriend”

What could be going on

Over-functioning and under-functioning: Fits if your doing more lets him do less; check what happens when you stop reminding.

Puer aeternus (eternal youth): Fits if he avoids adult responsibility across life, like work, money and plans, not just with you.

Compulsively rescues: Check whether you step in and fix before he's had a chance to struggle.

Drama triangle (persecutor, victim, rescuer): Check whether you're stuck as rescuer to his helpless victim, then resent it.

Parentification: Check whether you were the caretaker for a parent as a child; the role may feel familiar.

ADHD in adults: Forgetting tasks can be attention problems rather than unwillingness; check whether he struggles at work too.

Also said as

• I have to remind my husband to do everything
• she acts like a child and I'm the parent
• I'm always taking care of him like he's a kid
• I mother my boyfriend
• I feel like I'm parenting my partner
• my husband is like another child