Compulsively rescues
They take on a struggling colleague's work, lend money to the same friend again, and are always the one who drives across town at midnight.
Rule out first
A generous person in a real crisis. Role demands: a caring job, the eldest child. A reciprocity you can't see.
What could explain it
Altruism (as a defence): Helping steadies them, but they have a life of their own and can stop without falling apart.
Codependency: Their worth comes from being needed; they get uneasy when the other person improves.
Drama triangle (persecutor, victim, rescuer): Rescuer turns into victim or persecutor: resentful that nobody thanks them, or angry at the person they saved.
Self-sacrifice schema: Guilt about their own needs; they can't accept help back.
Over-functioning and under-functioning: There's a partner or colleague who does less in step; the more they do, the less the other does.
A next move
Watch what happens when the rescued person recovers. Relief points to altruism; anxiety or a new rescue project to codependency; resentment to the drama triangle.
If it’s you
If they no longer needed me, what would I feel?