Drama triangle (persecutor, victim, rescuer)
Three roles people take up in conflict: Persecutor (blames, controls), Victim (helpless, aggrieved) and Rescuer (fixes, unasked). The roles are interchangeable, and the drama lies in the moment people switch seats.
What drives it
Each role spares the person an adult position: the Victim avoids responsibility, the Rescuer avoids his own needs while feeling good and one-up, the Persecutor discharges anger without showing vulnerability. The switch lets everyone feel wronged and nobody has to change.
How it shows
Work
In a leadership team: the COO criticises the head of sales in the meeting (Persecutor); sales says 'I never get the resources, nobody listens' (Victim); the CEO smooths it over and quietly gives sales extra budget (Rescuer). Next quarter sales misses again, the CEO turns on him ('after everything I gave you') and the COO now defends him. Same three people, new seats, and still no decision on accountability.
Relationships
One partner rescues the other from a parent's criticism, then resents carrying it and explodes; the rescued partner now feels attacked and calls a sibling, who rescues them. Family conversations circle the same complaint for years without anything being decided.
Self
You feel righteous, put-upon or indispensable, and you are talking about someone more than to them. The tell is the switch: after helping you feel unappreciated and angry, or after attacking you feel guilty and start fixing.
What tells it apart
Triangulation: Triangulation is a structure: a third person is pulled in to carry tension between two others. The drama triangle is about roles, and can run between just two people who swap Victim and Persecutor.
Codependency: Codependency is a standing over-responsibility for one person; in the drama triangle the helper will at some point turn persecutor or victim.
Psychological games (Berne): A game has a con, a hidden payoff and a switch; the drama triangle maps the roles in that switch. If you can name the payoff in advance ('this proves nobody helps me'), you are watching a game played on the triangle.
A test
Watch what happens after a rescue: if the helper later resents, or the helped person later attacks the helper, the triangle is running.
Questions to carry
- In the weeks after a rescue, who ended up resentful, and who ended up being blamed?
- Which seat do I take first in a family fight, and which one do I end up in?
How strong the research is
clinical. A widely used clinical and coaching model from transactional analysis with almost no controlled research behind it; its value is descriptive.
Where it comes from
Stephen Karpman, 1968
On the family tree: Stephen Karpman
Sources
- Stephen B. Karpman, Fairy Tales and Script Drama Analysis (1968)