Situation · Yourself
“I avoid conflict at all costs”
What could be going on
Enneagram Type 9: Peacemaker: The Peacemaker's fear of conflict and separation fits as a lens.
Fawn response: Placating to stay safe fits; check whether arguments felt dangerous as a child.
Pleases everyone, never says no: Never saying no fits; check whether you drop your own view.
Conflict modes (Thomas-Kilmann): Avoiding is one of five styles; check whether you can use others when needed.
Emotional inhibition schema: Holding in anger to avoid disapproval fits; check whether anger ever shows.
Passive aggression: Check whether avoided conflict leaks out sideways later.
Questions to carry
- In the last moment I swallowed a disagreement, who was I with, and what did I want to say?
- Picturing a conflict, what do I imagine will happen to me or to them?
Also said as
- I hate confrontation
- I'll do anything to keep the peace
- my dad never stands up for himself
- I go silent rather than argue
- I'm conflict avoidant
- why do I avoid arguments