Situation · Partners and dating
“He pressures me for sex and guilt-trips me if I say no”
What could be going on
Coercive control: Pressure that wears down your no is a form of control; check whether you feel afraid to refuse.
Uses guilt to get compliance: Check whether guilt, sulking or blame reliably follow your no.
Psychological entitlement: Fits if he treats sex as owed to him rather than mutual.
Emotional blackmail (fear, obligation, guilt): Fits if he threatens to leave, cheat or withdraw affection unless you agree.
Fawn response: Fits if you go along to keep the peace; notice whether you feel present or absent.
Objectification: seven ways of treating a person as a thing (Nussbaum): Check whether your feelings and wishes seem irrelevant to him in sex.
Questions to carry
- After I say no, what does he say or do, and how long does it go on?
- Who could I tell about the pressure, and what does my body tell me when it starts?
Also said as
- my boyfriend sulks when I don't want sex
- she makes me feel guilty for not being in the mood
- my husband says something's wrong with me when I say no
- partner won't take no for an answer
- my partner pressures me into sex
- he makes me feel bad for not wanting sex