Psychological entitlement
A stable belief that one deserves more than others and is exempt from the rules, duties and limits that apply to everyone else. It shows in expectations, not in how confident the person seems.
What drives it
Protects the person from frustration, waiting, dependence and the sense of being ordinary. Freud's 'exceptions' felt they had already suffered enough to be owed something.
How it shows
Work
Expects promotion without the track record, angry at being asked to follow process ('that doesn't apply to me'), treats support staff as servants, misses deadlines but expects others to meet theirs, complains of unfairness whenever not favoured, expects exceptions on pay or leave. Strongest narcissism facet for predicting counterproductive behaviour.
Relationships
Expects the partner to anticipate needs, unwilling to compromise on plans, keeps a ledger in which others owe them, reacts with anger when told 'no', uses past hardship to justify present demands.
Self
Irritation at queues, rules and waiting that feels like a personal affront; a feeling that you should not have to ask; resentment when others get what you think you deserved.
What tells it apart
Narcissistic supply: Entitlement is about what one is owed; supply is about attention needed. The entitled person may be content to be left alone as long as they get their exception.
Entitlement/grandiosity schema: Young's entitlement schema is a cognitive belief pattern targeted in therapy, often formed by over-indulgence; psychological entitlement is the measured trait. They describe the same behaviour from different angles, but the schema also includes a 'grandiosity' mode that can flip to shame.
Self-efficacy: Self-efficacy is confidence that one can do something; entitlement is the expectation that one should get something without doing it. Ask whether the person proposes how they will earn what they want.
A test
Watch the response to a simple, fair 'no': a confident person asks why or accepts it; an entitled person treats it as an insult.
Questions to carry
- Given a simple and fair refusal, what does the person do next?
- Where do I feel I’ve already suffered enough to be owed something?
How strong the research is
moderate. The Psychological Entitlement Scale predicts selfishness, aggression after criticism and poorer relationship outcomes; entitlement is also the facet of narcissism most consistently linked to harm.
Where it comes from
Sigmund Freud, 1916 ('The Exceptions'); W. Keith Campbell, Angelica Bonacci, Jeremy Shelton, Julie Exline and Brad Bushman, 2004
On the family tree: Sigmund Freud
Sources
- Karen Horney, Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization (1950)