Situation · Partners and dating

“Everything is always my fault in my relationship”

What could be going on

Takes credit, deflects blame: Check whether he takes credit for good things and puts blame for bad ones on you.

DARVO: Fits if your complaints get turned into accusations against you.

You feel guilty without having done anything: Feeling guilty without having done anything is useful information about the dynamic.

Personalisation: You may automatically assume fault; check whether it's him blaming you or you blaming yourself.

Defectiveness/shame schema: Fits if you've long felt something's wrong with you, making blame easy to accept.

Scapegoating: Check whether you were also the blamed one in your family growing up.

The last time something went wrong, how long before it became mine, and who decided that?
Which friend could I tell about the last argument, word for word, to hear how it sounds to someone else?