Situation · Family and friends
“Why can't I say no to my family”
What could be going on
People-pleasing: Fits if their comfort and approval come before your own judgement by reflex.
Self-sacrifice schema: Could be a belief that others' needs matter more; check if you feel guilty resting.
Subjugation schema: Fits if you fear anger or rejection if you assert yourself.
Fawn response: Check whether saying yes is how you kept safe in a harsh or unpredictable home.
Resentment: If you agree and then seethe, the unsaid no turns into resentment; check how often.
Questions to carry
- The last time I said yes and meant no, who was asking, and what did they ask for?
- Picturing myself saying no to them, what do I fear will happen next?
Also said as
- I always end up doing what my family wants
- can't refuse my siblings anything
- I agree to every request from my parents then resent it
- how do I stop being a pushover with family
- I can't turn down my family
- always saying yes to my parents