Situation · Family and friends
“My sister and I have always competed with each other”
What could be going on
Family roles (golden child, scapegoat, lost child, mascot): Fits if the family cast you as rivals: the clever one, the pretty one, the good one.
Jealousy: Could be old fear of losing a parent's love to the other; check who gets praised at family events.
Social comparison: Siblings are the nearest yardstick; check whether comparison spikes around money, children or careers.
Triangulation: Check whether a parent fuels it by comparing you or carrying news between you.
Mimetic desire (Girard): Fits if you each want things mainly because the other has or wants them.
Questions to carry
- The last time we compared, who brought it up, and what were we comparing?
- Who in the family set us side by side first, and what did I learn from it?
Also said as
- sibling rivalry that never ended even as adults
- my brother has to beat me at everything
- why do my sister and I keep comparing our lives
- we're in our thirties and still competing for mum's attention
- rivalry with my sister since childhood
- my brother and I are always trying to outdo each other