Situation · Partners and dating
“My partner drinks every night and gets mean”
What could be going on
Drinks to unwind every night: Check whether he needs a drink to unwind every night.
Substance addiction: Fits if he can't cut down, drinks more over time, or hides it.
Addiction as an attempted solution to pain (Maté): Drinking may numb pain or stress; check what he's escaping.
Acting out: Fits if drink lets out anger he otherwise holds in.
Codependency: Check whether your life now revolves around managing his drinking.
You walk on eggshells around them: Check whether you gauge his mood by how much he's had.
Questions to carry
- On the nights it turns mean, how many drinks in does it start, and what is the first sign?
- Where do I go, in the house or in myself, when the meanness starts, and who knows about it?
Also said as
- my husband drinks and then picks fights
- she gets nasty when she's drunk
- why does my boyfriend change when he drinks
- my husband is a mean drunk
- my wife drinks every night and gets angry
- partner gets aggressive when drinking