Situation · Work

“My new boss loved me at first and now can't stand me”

What could be going on

Idealises, then devalues: Fits exactly; check whether others have gone through the same cycle with them.

Idealise-devalue-discard cycle: Fits if it moves from praise to contempt to pushing you out.

Splitting: Fits if you went from all good to all bad with no middle.

Halo effect: Fits if early praise was based on one impression that faded.

Narcissistic injury: Fits if the turn followed you disagreeing with or outshining them.

Role conflict and ambiguity: Check whether expectations shifted without being told to you.

Questions to carry

  1. Looking back, when did the warmth turn, and what had just happened at work?
  2. Which early praise am I still trying to earn back?

Also said as

  • I went from favourite to target
  • my manager used to praise me and now she criticises everything
  • he put me on a pedestal and then dropped me
  • why did my boss turn on me
  • my boss used to like me and now hates me
  • my manager went from praising me to criticising me

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