Idealises, then devalues
A new hire is 'the best person we've brought in for years'. Four months and one mistake later, they're 'a disaster'.
Rule out first
The honeymoon wearing off. New information. The person really did change or underperform.
What could explain it
Limerence: The shine fades gradually as they see the real person; the other is downgraded, not condemned.
Splitting: People are all good or all bad with no middle; the flip is sudden and total and can reverse again.
Borderline personality: The flip follows a perceived slight or abandonment, comes with intense emotion, and is often regretted.
Idealise-devalue-discard cycle: A repeating cycle across people: lavish attention, then contempt, then dropping them, sometimes then hoovering back.
Narcissistic supply: The person was prized for what they reflected back (admiration, status); devaluation starts when that stops.
A next move
Track what comes just before the switch. A slight points to borderline; withdrawn admiration to narcissistic supply; a slow fade to limerence; a cold repeating pattern to the discard cycle.
If it’s you
What did I need them to be, and what did they do that stopped them being it?