Situation · Family and friends
“My mum constantly criticises how I look”
What could be going on
Projection: Fits if she is critical of her own body and sees her fears in yours.
Intergenerational transmission: Check whether her mother did the same to her.
Conditions of worth (Rogers): Could be her belief that looks earn acceptance, passed to you.
Envy disguised as critique: Check whether criticism rises when you look well or get attention.
Invalidation: Fits if your hurt is dismissed as oversensitivity when you object.
Questions to carry
- When my mum last commented on how I look, what was she feeling about her own looks then?
- Before I see her now, how do I change how I look, and for whom?
Also said as
- my mother always comments on my weight
- she says my hair and clothes are wrong
- parent who picks at my appearance
- why does my mum always criticise my body
- mother criticises my appearance
- my mum makes comments about my looks