Situation · Family and friends
“My mother denies things that happened in my childhood”
What could be going on
Denies things you both saw happen: Fits if she denies events others also remember clearly.
Denial: Could be she cannot bear the fact; check if denial softens when she isn't being accused.
Cognitive dissonance: Fits if admitting it would clash with her belief that she was a good mother.
Gaslighting: Check whether she also says you're crazy or making it up, so you doubt your memory.
Motivated reasoning: An ordinary cause: memories shift to protect self-image; check whether siblings remember it your way.
Questions to carry
- What did my mother say, word for word, the last time I brought up a memory?
- After she denies it, how sure do I stay about what I remember, and who else was there?
Also said as
- my mum says that never happened when I bring up the past
- my parents rewrite our family history
- my dad insists he was a great father
- why does my mother deny what she did
- mum denies my childhood memories
- my mother claims things I remember never happened