Denies things you both saw happen
You both heard them promise the budget. A week later they say flatly that they never did, and you start doubting yourself.
Rule out first
Honest memory differences. Ambiguous wording at the time. Alcohol, fatigue or stress that genuinely blurred their recall.
What could explain it
Naive realism: Each of you is sure your version is the objective one, and a recording or witness settles it without rancour.
Denial: They can't bear what happened, so it didn't; it applies to painful things, not just inconvenient ones.
Gaslighting: The denials focus on things that would hold them to account, and they add that you're 'confused' or 'too sensitive'.
Dissociation (including depersonalisation and derealisation): They genuinely don't remember, sometimes whole stretches, especially after stress or conflict.
Substance addiction: The gaps match drinking or using: evenings, events, weekends.
A next move
Keep a written record and check one claim against it with them. Accepting points to honest difference; still denying with the evidence in front of them points to denial or gaslighting; real confusion to dissociation or blackout.
If it’s you
What would I have to feel if I admitted that happened?