Situation · Family and friends
“My friend is a people-pleaser and never says what she wants”
What could be going on
Pleases everyone, never says no: Fits if she agrees by reflex and never states a preference, even when asked directly.
People-pleasing: Could be her approval habit; check whether she gets anxious when someone is mildly displeased.
Fawn response: Fits if placating looks like a threat response; check for conflict or harshness in her past.
False self (Winnicott): Could be a self built to fit others; check whether she struggles to know what she wants at all.
Agreeableness: May just be high agreeableness; check whether she can disagree when it truly matters.
Questions to carry
- The last time I asked what she wanted, what did she say, and what did her face say?
- How much of her do I feel I know, when she goes along with everything?
Also said as
- she always says whatever you want is fine
- my friend can't say no to anyone
- he agrees to everything and then burns out
- how do I get my people-pleasing friend to be honest
- friend who never gives her opinion
- my friend goes along with everything to keep the peace