Situation · Work
“My coworker always plays the victim”
What could be going on
Always the victim: Fits exactly; check whether it gets them sympathy or out of work.
Drama triangle (persecutor, victim, rescuer): Fits if they cast others as rescuers or persecutors.
Primary and secondary gain: Fits if being the victim brings real benefits.
Vulnerable (covert) narcissism: Fits if they feel secretly special and resent not being treated so.
Locus of control: Fits if they believe outcomes depend on others or luck.
Psychological games (Berne): Fits if the same exchange keeps ending with them hurt and you guilty.
Questions to carry
- Who was my coworker telling the last time they were wronged, and what did they want from them?
- Which role do I end up in when it starts: listener, fixer, or the one blamed?
Also said as
- everything bad happens to her
- he always has a sad story to get out of work
- she blames everyone else for her problems
- my colleague acts helpless so others do her job
- colleague acts like a martyr
- my coworker always feels sorry for herself