Situation · Partners and dating
“I'm scared to be alone so I jump from relationship to relationship”
What could be going on
Can't be alone: Check whether being alone brings panic, emptiness or a rush to fill the gap.
Anxious-preoccupied attachment: Fits if you feel safe only when attached; check how you feel in the gaps.
Abandonment/instability schema: Fits if being alone feels like proof you're unwanted.
Identity diffusion: Check whether you know who you are, what you like, outside a relationship.
Dependent personality: Fits if you rely on partners for decisions and doubt you could cope alone.
Experiential avoidance: A new partner may be a way to avoid grief from the last; check whether you ever mourn.
Questions to carry
- Between the last two relationships, how many days was I alone, and what were they like?
- Picturing an evening alone, what is the first feeling, and what is under it?
Also said as
- I've never been single for more than a month
- why can't I be on my own
- she always has someone lined up before she leaves
- I go straight into a new relationship every time
- I can't stand being single
- I'm afraid of being alone