Situation · Yourself
“I'm my own worst critic”
What could be going on
Harsh superego (inner critic): An inner critic that punishes rather than guides fits; check whose voice it sounds like.
Defectiveness/shame schema: Feeling basically flawed fits; check whether criticism targets who you are, not what you did.
Turning against the self: Anger at others turned inward fits; check whether you rarely feel angry at anyone else.
Shame: Feeling defective as a person fits; check whether mistakes feel like exposure.
Depressive character: Fits if guilt and self-blame are your default for most things.
Self-compassion: The missing counterpart; check whether you'd speak to a friend this way.
Questions to carry
- The last time I criticised myself, which words did I use, and whose words were they first?
- How would I speak to a friend who did the same, and what stops me speaking to myself that way?
Also said as
- I hate myself
- the voice in my head is so cruel
- I beat myself up over every mistake
- my daughter is so hard on herself
- I talk to myself like an enemy
- I'm so hard on myself