Situation · Yourself
“I'm in my forties and want to blow up my whole life”
What could be going on
Midlife transition: A forties reappraisal of work, love and meaning fits; check for triggers like children leaving.
Terror management theory: Sudden awareness of time running out fits; check for recent deaths or health scares.
Hero projects and the denial of death (Becker): Fits if you need to prove your life mattered; check whether the new plan is about legacy.
Identity moratorium: Trying on new paths before committing fits; check whether you're exploring or fleeing.
Puer aeternus (eternal youth): Fits if limits and commitments feel like a trap; check whether this has happened before.
Bipolar disorder and hypomania: If the urge came suddenly with little sleep and high energy, check for hypomania.
Questions to carry
- In the last week, which moment made me most want to blow it all up?
- If I could change one part of my life, which would it be, and what keeps it where it is?
Also said as
- midlife crisis
- I want to quit everything and start over
- my husband suddenly wants a new life
- I feel like I wasted my life
- I want to quit my job and leave my marriage at 45
- why do I want to change everything at midlife