Situation · Partners and dating
“I need constant reassurance from my partner”
What could be going on
Anxious-preoccupied attachment: Fits if closeness feels fragile and you calm only when reassured, then the worry returns.
Hyperactivating strategies: Reaching out more and harder to feel safe; check whether asking soothes you only briefly.
Abandonment/instability schema: A deep expectation of being left; check whether it runs through many relationships.
Rejection sensitivity: Fits if you read small signs like short replies as rejection.
Contingent self-worth: Your sense of being okay may depend on his approval; check how you feel when he's distracted.
Intermittent reinforcement: If his warmth is genuinely unpredictable, needing reassurance may be a fair response to mixed signals.
Questions to carry
- What had my partner just done, or not done, the last time I asked for reassurance?
- How long does the relief last after my partner reassures me, and what brings the doubt back?
Also said as
- I keep asking him if he still loves me
- why do I need so much reassurance in my relationship
- my girlfriend asks every day if I'm going to leave her
- I can't feel secure unless he tells me he's not mad
- always asking if we're ok
- I always need my boyfriend to tell me he loves me