Situation · Yourself
“I keep choosing the same kind of partner”
What could be going on
Repetition compulsion: Recreating a painful early situation fits; check whether partners resemble a parent's style.
Internal working model: Your template of love may make one type feel like chemistry; check what feels boring.
Anxious-preoccupied attachment: Fits if unavailable partners keep you chasing; check whether steady ones feel dull.
Life script: An early life plan can steer you to the same ending; check the family story about love.
Codependency: Fits if you choose people who need fixing; check whether your worth comes from being needed.
Transference: You may experience new partners through an old relationship; check early reactions to them.
Questions to carry
- With my last two partners, which early moment felt most familiar?
- Where have I felt that familiar pull before, long before any partner?
Also said as
- why do I always date the same type
- why do I always attract narcissists
- my friend keeps picking men who treat her badly
- every relationship ends the same way
- I'm drawn to emotionally unavailable people
- I always go for the wrong people