Situation · Yourself
“I hate being told what to do”
What could be going on
Psychological reactance: Resisting because freedom feels threatened fits; check whether you'd do it if not asked.
Self-determination theory: A strong need for autonomy fits; check whether choice changes your willingness.
Enneagram Type 8: Challenger: Fear of being controlled fits as a lens; check whether being at someone's mercy feels unbearable.
Agrees in the room, resists later: Check whether you say yes then quietly don't do it.
Spite and the underground man (Dostoevsky): Fits if you act against your own interest just to prove you're free.
Subjugation schema: Fits if you were overcontrolled early and now fight any hint of it.
Questions to carry
- The last time someone told me what to do, how did they say it, and who were they?
- What am I protecting about myself when I bristle?
Also said as
- I rebel against any authority
- my son refuses anything I ask just because I asked
- I get angry when someone gives me orders
- why do I do the opposite when told
- I can't stand bosses
- I can't stand authority