Situation · Yourself

“I freeze when someone yells at me”

What could be going on

Fight, flight, freeze: Going still and blank under a raised voice is the freeze response; check whether it's automatic.

Triggers: Fits if yelling links to past harm; check whether someone shouted a lot when you were young.

Fawn response: Check whether the freeze turns into placating and agreeing once you can move again.

Zones out under pressure: Zoning out under pressure fits; check whether it also happens in exams or meetings.

Complex PTSD: Fits if there was long, hard-to-escape harm; check for shame and constant alertness too.

Behavioural inhibition: Could be a reactive, wary temperament; check whether you were a shy, easily startled child.

Questions to carry

  1. The last time someone yelled, who was it, and what happened in my body first?
  2. When I was young, what happened at home when voices were raised?

Also said as

  • I go blank when people get angry
  • I can't speak when someone shouts
  • my wife shuts down if I raise my voice
  • I just freeze and can't think
  • I shut down when someone shouts at me
  • why do I freeze when people yell

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