Situation · Partners and dating
“He's jealous of my career”
What could be going on
Envy: Fits if he wants what you have; check whether his mood drops after your good news.
Envy disguised as critique: Check whether his criticism targets exactly what you're succeeding at.
One-up, one-down: grandiosity and shame (Terry Real): Fits if he needs to be the one on top and your rise feels like his fall.
Inferiority complex (Adler): Check whether he feels inadequate about his own work.
Status motive: Fits if status and rank matter a lot to him generally.
Moral foundations: Gender role expectations may make your earning more feel threatening to him.
Questions to carry
- In the first minute after I last shared work news, how did his face and words change?
- How have I started to talk about my work at home, and what do I leave out?
Also said as
- my boyfriend gets weird when I get promoted
- she puts down my achievements
- why does my husband resent my success
- my partner can't handle me earning more
- my husband is threatened by my career
- my boyfriend is jealous of my job