Situation · Partners and dating
“He love bombed me and then pulled away”
What could be going on
Love bombing: Overwhelming early attention that later drops away; check whether the intensity came before he really knew you.
Idealise-devalue-discard cycle: Fits if idealising gave way to criticism or coldness, and the cycle has repeated before.
Limerence: He may have been infatuated with a fantasy of you that faded when real life arrived.
Dismissive-avoidant attachment: Intensity can feel safe at a distance; check whether he retreated as things got real and close.
Overshares early: Check whether he rushed intimacy and disclosure early, then couldn't sustain it.
Hypomanic (manic) character: Could be his general high-energy, high-intensity style that runs hot then crashes, not about you.
Questions to carry
- Looking back at the week he started pulling away, what had just changed between us?
- Which of the early things he said or did am I still holding on to?
Also said as
- he was intense from day one, talking about forever, then suddenly went cold
- she showered me with attention and gifts then lost interest
- why did he go from obsessed with me to distant in a month
- love bombing then withdrawal
- too much too soon and now he barely texts
- he came on really strong then disappeared