Situation · Partners and dating
“He gives me the silent treatment to punish me”
What could be going on
Silent treatment: Fits if silence is used to make you uncomfortable until you give in.
Passive aggression: Indirect anger instead of saying what's wrong; check whether he denies being upset.
Coercive control: Check whether silence is part of a wider pattern of control and fear.
Punitiveness schema: Fits if he believes mistakes must be punished, including his own.
Keeps score and holds grudges: Check whether he keeps score and brings up old offences.
Emotional flooding: He may need time out to calm down; check whether he says so and comes back.
Questions to carry
- When the silence starts, how do I learn what it is for, and how does it end?
- During the silence, what happens in my body, and who do I talk to?
Also said as
- my wife ignores me for days if I upset her
- he won't talk to me until I apologise even when I did nothing wrong
- being ignored as punishment
- silent treatment from my boyfriend
- my husband ignores me to punish me
- she stops talking to me when she's angry with me