Perfectionism
Setting excessively high standards combined with critical self-evaluation. Hewitt and Flett distinguish self-oriented (I must be perfect), other-oriented (you must be perfect) and socially prescribed (others demand I be perfect).
What drives it
It promises control, safety from criticism and conditional worth: if I am flawless, I cannot be rejected or shamed. It keeps shame at bay by never letting work be finished enough to be judged.
How it shows
Work
Missed deadlines because work is never ready, rewriting other people's drafts, inability to delegate, focus on the one error in a strong report, 'it's fine' meaning it isn't, harsh judgement of colleagues (other-oriented), fear that the boss expects perfection (socially prescribed). High performers can show strivings without concerns: high standards, little distress.
Relationships
Correcting a partner's loading of the dishwasher, unspoken scorecards, criticising children's grades, hiding mistakes, inability to relax on holidays.
Self
Notice whether success brings satisfaction or only relief, and whether a 95 per cent outcome registers as failure.
What tells it apart
Conscientiousness: Conscientious people work carefully and can stop; perfectionists cannot stop and feel distress at imperfection. Watch for distress and delay at completion.
Unrelenting standards/hypercriticalness schema: Unrelenting standards is the schema-therapy formulation and includes the belief that one must constantly strive to avoid criticism; perfectionism as a trait can be measured without that developmental story. In practice, look for the background of conditional approval.
Obsessive-compulsive personality (OCPD): OCPD involves rigidity, control and orderliness across many areas of life and interpersonal stubbornness; perfectionism alone can be limited to work or appearance.
A test
Ask the person to hand in something at 80 per cent and watch their distress; then ask what they fear would happen if they did.
Questions to carry
- Handed in at eighty per cent, what does the distress look like, and what is feared would follow?
- Which piece of work do I keep from being finished, and whose judgement am I keeping it away from?
How strong the research is
moderate. Perfectionistic concerns and socially prescribed perfectionism reliably predict depression, anxiety and burnout, and appear to have risen over decades (Curran and Hill, 2019); whether perfectionistic strivings are healthy or only less harmful is disputed.
Where it comes from
Don Hamachek, 1978; Randy Frost and colleagues, 1990; Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett, 1991.
Sources
- Karen Horney, Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization (1950)