Behavioural addiction
A pattern of repetitive rewarding behaviour (gambling, gaming, sex, pornography, shopping, social media) that continues despite harm, with loss of control, preoccupation and escalation. The distinguishing mark is impaired control and harm, not how much time it takes.
What drives it
The behaviour reliably shifts mood: it offers escape from stress, boredom, loneliness or shame, and unpredictable rewards (wins, likes, novelty) make it particularly hard to stop.
How it shows
Work
Phone checked under the desk, betting or trading apps open during meetings, unexplained absences, fatigue from late nights, money trouble or borrowing from colleagues, irritability when unable to access the activity. Performance tracks the cycle of binge and remorse.
Relationships
Secrecy about money or browsing history, lies about time spent, withdrawal from shared activities, defensiveness, promises to stop that do not hold. Partners often discover it through bank statements or devices.
Self
You feel a pull to the activity when stressed or bored, lose track of time once you start, feel flat or ashamed after, and hide the extent from others. Stopping makes you restless and irritable.
What tells it apart
Substance addiction: The craving cycle is similar, but there is no drug intoxication or physical withdrawal; the evidence is in money, time and secrecy rather than smell, slurring or hangovers.
Workaholism: Workaholism is compulsive working, socially rewarded and often praised, which makes it hard to see; the tell is guilt and anxiety when not working and continued overwork after health or family costs are obvious.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): OCD rituals are performed to relieve dread and bring no pleasure; behavioural addictions begin as pleasurable and become compulsive as the reward fades.
A test
Ask whether they have tried to cut down and failed, and whether they hide the extent; repeated failed attempts plus financial, work or relationship harm justify assessment, and gambling problems in particular warrant specialist help early because of debt and suicide risk.
Questions to carry
- How many attempts to cut down have there been, and how much of the extent is kept hidden?
- When I reach for the scroll, the bet or the cart, what was I feeling a minute before?
How strong the research is
mixed. Gambling disorder is well established and gaming disorder is in ICD-11, but sex, shopping, work, social media and exercise 'addictions' remain disputed, with critics arguing the label pathologises ordinary habits.
Where it comes from
Pathological gambling in DSM-III, 1980; components model by Mark Griffiths, 2005; gambling disorder moved to the addictions chapter in DSM-5, 2013; gaming disorder in ICD-11, 2019
Sources
- Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction (2008)