Situation · Family and friends
“Why do I keep ending up with friends who use me”
What could be going on
Repetition compulsion: Fits if you recreate an early pattern of giving without receiving.
Self-sacrifice schema: Could be a belief your needs come last; check if receiving feels uncomfortable.
People-pleasing: Check whether you say yes by reflex, which draws people who take.
Enneagram Type 2: Helper: Fits if you feel loved mainly when helping and struggle to name your own needs.
Boundaries: Check whether you state limits early; takers often move on when you do.
Questions to carry
- With the most recent friend like this, what was the first thing they asked of me?
- Early in a friendship, what do I offer before anyone asks, and why do I offer it?
Also said as
- every friend I have takes advantage of me
- I attract users and takers
- why am I always the giver in friendships
- people always exploit my kindness
- friends always take advantage of me
- I keep making friends who are users