Situation · Money and survival
“We fight about money all the time”
What could be going on
Money conflict in couples: Fits if money rows come back, get heated and don't settle. Studies find they recur and stay unresolved more than other rows.
Money scripts (Klontz): Could be two family scripts colliding. Check what each of your parents believed about money.
Pursuer-distancer (demand-withdraw): Check whether one of you pushes to talk money and the other shuts down or leaves the room.
Four horsemen (Gottman): Fits if money talk brings contempt, criticism or stonewalling, not just disagreement.
Financial strain: Could be real shortage making every choice tight. Check whether the rows grew as money got shorter.
Financial infidelity: Fits if the rows spike after one of you finds spending the other hid.
Questions to carry
- In the last money row, what was the first sentence, and who said it?
- What did money mean in my house growing up, and what did it mean in theirs?
Also said as
- my husband and i argue about money constantly
- my wife spends and i save
- constant rows about bills
- money is ruining my relationship
- my boyfriend thinks i'm tight
- she calls me reckless, i call her stingy