Situation · Money and survival

“My partner hides what they spend”

What could be going on

Financial infidelity: Fits if they hide spending, debt or accounts they know you would object to.

Compulsive buying: Could be buying they can't control and feel ashamed of. Check for regret and promises after purchases.

Money shame: Fits if hiding protects them from feeling judged more than it protects the things they bought.

Gambling disorder: Check whether missing money is going on betting. Secrecy and borrowing are common signs.

Coercive control: Fits the other way round if hiding is the only way they can have money of their own. Check who controls what.

Money conflict in couples: Could be a way to dodge rows. Check whether open spending has led to fights before.

When I found the last hidden purchase, what did they say first?
What happens in me when they spend openly, and what might they be avoiding by not telling me?