Situation · Family and friends
“My friend always cancels plans at the last minute”
What could be going on
Agrees in the room, resists later: Fits if they say yes to avoid saying no, then back out.
Social anxiety: Could be dread of social settings; check whether it's worse with groups.
ADHD in adults: Check for wider disorganisation: missed deadlines, lost things, overbooking.
Passive aggression: Fits if cancelling expresses resentment they won't say.
Stress response and allostatic load: An ordinary cause: they may be overloaded; check how busy or stressed they are.
Questions to carry
- With the last cancellation, how much notice did I get, and what reason did my friend give?
- What do I feel when the message comes in, and what do I write back?
Also said as
- she flakes on me every time
- my friend bails an hour before we meet
- unreliable friend who never shows up
- why does my mate keep cancelling on me
- flaky friend
- friend keeps cancelling on me