Situation · Family and friends
“My dad is still controlling even though I'm an adult”
What could be going on
Must control details: Fits if he needs to manage the details of your choices.
Separation-individuation (Mahler): Could be his difficulty letting you become separate; check if your independence alarms him.
Parenting styles (Baumrind): Check whether he was always authoritarian: firm rules, little explanation.
Vulnerability to harm or illness schema: A gentler cause: he may fear harm coming to you; check whether it's worry, not dominance.
Omnipotent control: Fits if he treats you as an extension he should steer.
Questions to carry
- The last time my dad stepped in, what was the decision, and how did he make his view felt?
- What am I protecting when I give way to him, and what do I lose?
Also said as
- my father tries to run my life at 30
- my parents still tell me what to do with my money and job
- controlling parent with grown-up kid
- why won't my dad let me make my own decisions
- controlling father
- my dad still tries to control my life