Situation · Family and friends
“My brother is the golden child and can do no wrong”
What could be going on
Family roles (golden child, scapegoat, lost child, mascot): Fits if roles are fixed: one child carries pride, another carries blame.
Splitting: Could be parents seeing children as all good or all bad; check whether views ever mix.
Idealisation: Check whether he stands for what a parent wanted to be.
Jealousy: Your hurt over unequal love is ordinary; check how it shapes how you treat him.
Intergenerational transmission: Check whether a parent was themselves a golden child or scapegoat.
Questions to carry
- The last time my brother did something wrong, how did the family tell the story afterwards?
- Next to him, which part of me goes unseen in the family?
Also said as
- my sister gets away with everything
- the favourite child is never held to account
- my parents excuse everything my brother does
- golden child sibling and I'm the scapegoat
- golden child brother
- my parents think my brother is perfect